Script for Sober island

Music begins. Animal Crossing Sober Island.

Press start.

Isabelle: Animal Crossing used to be a happy place, ever since the village vandals came, things changed for the worst. You may think the Helper Villagers are here to help you, that's not true. They ruined everything. They destroyed our homes, they killed our loved ones, they hurt us until we black out, they called us names, they put pranks on us. Please help us. I'm begging you! I don't want to drink brain ruining beverages anymore. I just want to be happy. I want to leave. I want a friend. I want them dead.

On the train.

Rover: Hello there, I'm Rover, it's nice to met you! I had a lovely vacation, it was a lot of fun. But I don't want to go home. It's too dangerous! But that's okay, I went through a ton load of abuse, I'm used to it.

You: You should tell someone!

Rover: Yeah! You're right. I need to speak up about this. Thank you!

Porter: We're arriving in Animal Crossing.

Rover: I'm so not looking forward to this.

At the train station.

Jasmine: It's a freak and he's attacking that kid!

Chad: Get him!

Rover gets attacked.

Chad: Hey kid, come with us!

At the alley.

Arianna: Hey, you must be that new kid! I just wanna welcome you to our gang. I'm Arianna.

Jasmine: I'm Jasmine! I know everything about this place.

Tyler: I'm Tyler! I like to see things burn!

Kyle: The names Kyle.

Nathan: I'm Nathan and I have cool hair!

Sadie: I'm Sadie, I'm obese and proud!

Laurie: Introductions are sexist.

Gordan: That's Laurie. She's a feminist! I'm Gordan!

Elisa: And I'm Elisa! Check out my hat! It's totally lit!

You: Why did that girl attack Rover?

Arianna: He's a freak.

Jasmine: I saw him smoking cigarettes at the bar last night. He's also a rapist.

Arianna: That's right, Jasmine!

You: But Rover seemed like a nice guy!

Tyler: You should never trust the Animals here!

Laurie: Yeah! The animals are misogynistic!

Arianna: If you join our gang, you will be Enlighted with the Vandal cult. All we need is your favourite color!

What would you choose?
 * Red
 * Orange
 * Yellow
 * Green
 * Blue
 * Pink
 * Purple
 * Brown
 * Gray
 * White


 * Black