What Animal Crossing Kept a Secret by Obio the idiot.

'''Warning, the following article is written by Obio herself. The article contains misinformation about Animal Crossing and sentences that may offend some readers. Reader discretion is advised. DO NOT ATTACK THE USER THAT POSTED THE ARTICLE. Thank you. '''Mr. Resetti.

Stay tuned for a review!

Hello Animal Crossing haters, I have to tell you something really important about what Nintendo kept a secret about Animal Crossing, it's true. The animals are actually drunk people disguised as animals. That's right! The male animals are most likely extremely cranky people who are oftenly drunk, creepy rapists, drunken homosexuals, or drunk perverts just dressed as animals to hide their ultimate secret, they're actually drunk and grouchy creeps, disguised as animals. The female animals are most likely attention w#0r3s, pornstars, or maybe drunken homosexuals just dressed as cute animals to hide their ultimate secret, they're actually cranky and ugly pornstars who are drunk to the extreme, disguised as animals. Now you know why some of them want attention. The reason why they get sad is they think you called them a name despite you are not dressed as an animal and they're like, 100% drunk, just acting schizophrenic by hearing things. They want to befriend you because they want attention, plus if you're a male, these attention w#0r3s want you to get them pregnant with your sperm cells, if female or turn into a homosexual, if male, and if you are a female, those pervs want to get you pregnant with their sperm cells, if male, and turn you homosexual, if female. If they are really, really mad, they drank too much alocohol and got drunk and if they're female, they're pretty much 6 to 8 months pregnant. If they're really happy or jolly, they either had their first child or expected to have it, just really high or drunk, or they're just stupid, in a drunken manner. They own shops to get millions of money because they are possibly homeless and have nothing to buy. They also prank you with bees and they do not run restaurants either, no wonder they're so poor. The shop owners so poor, they go to KFC to lick other people's fingers, gross! I do not know why so many people want to play Animal Crossing Series when they should know how much this game sucks. They might scare their siblings and make them scream like "EHHHHHHH!!!!" because they already knew this before I even told you guys this. If you all read this, you'll want to throw out those games and maybe yell "I had enough of this stupid game!" or "Why the hell didn't anybody tell me this?! Screw this game! I'm sick of their BS!" As you can see, Nintendo is hiding their ultimate secret, my friend, they definitely are. ~MysteryMeister101 A.K.A. The Great Obio.

My thoughts on the article.

I have so many problems with this article, here's a list of them. If you want to make a conspiracy theory, don't talk about things that aren't there, it makes you look stupid. So that concludes my blog about this post. Mr. Resetti out!
 * 1) The Animal Crossing characters are drunk humans in animal costumes is a lie. There is no proof of ALL of the Animal Crossing characters are alcoholic furries. According to Wikipedia, the characters are actually anthropomorphic animals which have been around for many years. According to soft schools-when animals or non-human characters are given human characteristics. Anthropomorphism is slightly different from personification, which is describing an object using human characteristics. Anthropomorphism is actually having the animal or object behave as if it is human. The idea of Anthropomorphism was first discovered in 1753 as a reference to a Christian god known as Heresy. Furries didn't originate until 1980. There are no screenshots of any Animal Crossing game that has characters drinking alcohol, but there's a song called Animal Crossing which has the lyrics "Animal Crossing and alcohol is all I really need" which is not officially made by Nintendo, it's a fan song. This song is not canon to the franchise. If the characters did drink alcohol why is this even a problem? There are lots of video games that had alcoholic characters. no sane gamer ever complains about this! It's not affecting us in any way. It's Animal Crossing! None of the characters exist, they are not telling you to drink beer, no one is! so think of a better argument! Do you know what type of people complains about this? Soccer moms and Social Justice Warriors! You are an absolute moron.
 * 2) Oh come on, the characters are not "Alcoholic homosexuals who rape people" that's classic fear mongering. According to Wikipedia, Fearmongering or scaremongering is the spreading of frightening and exaggerated rumors of an impending danger or the habit or tactic of purposely and needlessly arousing public fear about an issue. Yes, some Animal Crossing characters are LBGT. The character Isabelle is bisexual. But there no confirmed homosexual characters in Animal Crossing. If all the characters are gay then why is it a problem? Again, the characters are not real, don't act like they are going to kill you. You claim that you're not homophobic but yet you use homosexuality to scare people into not playing Animal Crossing. If I haven't played Animal Crossing and heard a hater complaining about homosexuality in Animal Crossing, I would still play it because I don't care about a character's orientation, I care about the character's personality, backstory and what they do. I hate to be an SJW but your acting like a homophobe. You claim that you are not homophobic but that's a lie. Remember Sabastian Jones, the Animal Crossing fan you abused? You and your brain-dead friends beat him up, put adult magazines in his bag and called him names like "Faggot" and other anti-gay insults. homophobe noun a person with a dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people. You seem to dislike gay people, there for your a homophobe. Also rape? RAPE? Really? RAPE? How are you an SJW and a homophobe?  Everybody knows there no rape in Animal Crossing, EVERYBODY! YOU HAVE NO PROOF! She tends to think that if the NPCs will have sex with you, get you pregnant and then 'turns gay." First of all, you can't 'turn gay' this is something that a Christan will say and second the male characters won't rape you. That's a bunch of baloney.
 * 3) Do these characters look ugly to you? If so your pretty shallow!
 * 4) The word 'whore' is censored. Censorship is stupid and I doubt that gamers will disagree with me.
 * 5) Grammar errors galore.  Oftenly is not a real word. It should've been spelled as often. turn you homosexual, needs a comma at the end of turn and " alocohol" is spelled incorrectly. It's spelled as "alcohol" There's no O between L and C so get Grammarly, please. It's free.
 * 6) Animal Crossing is not scary. Get over it.
 * 7) No the reason why the characters have shops is that they want to look after themselves not because of greed. You need to do your research!
 * 8) You're more schizophrenic than the characters ever will be.
 * 9) Why do you think that all the characters want to be parents? That's bullshit.
 * 10) Why do you think the characters feel happy because they are pregnant, you are pregnant, they're high, drunk and stupid. What's going on in your messed up brain? What if they were watching a funny TV show, listening to music, playing games, going to a theme park or having a normal conversation with you? That triggers happy thoughts. Don't you want them to have emotion?
 * No, it won't scare your siblings. What if they don't find the game scary. You're over exaggerating. plus not everyone has siblings, you moron.